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Weird Al Yankovic

The Saga Begins

A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and qui-gon jinn
Could talk the federation into
Maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didnt thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met jar jar and boss nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to theed to see the queen
We all wound up on tatooine
Thats where we found this boy...
Oh my my this here anakin guy
May be vader someday later - now hes just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin soon Im gonna be a jedi
Soon Im gonna be a jedi
Did you know this junkyard slave

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TRASH DAY

Parody of "Hot In Herre" by Nelly
Rotten
So rotten here
So rotten
Oh
It was like, the last day before trash day
My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay
Even though the garbage I knew would reek
(You know) Thought that I could leave it for one more week
Then, um, I'm takin'
Birthday cake 'n'
(Oh) Chili and greasy old bacon
Throw it all on top of the mess I been makin'
Wife's so mad, she starts to shakin'
Leaky bag, 'n' now that girl is gaggin'
She's naggin'
"I need you to get that stuff off the kitchen floor"
"Is that too much to ask you for?"
But I see no reason why
Can't let a few more weeks go by

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Polka Power!

Yeah, Ill tell ya what I want, what I really really want
So tell us what you want, what you really really want
Ill tell ya what I want, what I really really want
So tell us what you want, what you really really want
I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha
I wanna really really really wanna zigga zigga ah
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends (gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever, friendship never ends
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give (youve got to give)
Taking is too easy, but thats the way it is
Hey!
Im not sick, but Im not well
And Im so hot, cause Im in hell
Im not sick, but Im not well
And its a sin (yes its a sin) to live so well
Ghetto superstar - that is what you are
Coming from afar, reaching for the stars
Run away with me, to another place
We can rely on each other, uh huh
From one corner to another, uh huh

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Your Horoscope For Today

aquarius
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a
Speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whack-a-mole seventeen hours a
Day
Pisces
Try to avoid any virgos or leos with the ebola virus
You are the tru lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say
Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound
Watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to meryl streep
Taurus
You will never find tru happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go
Back to sleep
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

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Jerry Springer

Its been one week since we got to see
Cheatin lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
Yesterday it occurred to me
That Ive been watchin a bit too much jerry springer
Holy cow, dyou see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak
Who sucker-punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all
And jerrys in the middle tryin to be the referee
Hey, see the stripper with the implants
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes jerrys next guest
And its a slugfest
cause its her trailer trash brother

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Its All About The Pentiums

Its all about the pentiums, baby
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
Its all about the pentiums, baby
Its all about the pentiums, baby
Its all about the pentiums! (its all about the pentiums, baby)
Its all about the pentiums! (its all about the pentiums, baby)
Yeah
What yall wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? code crackers? slackers
Wastin time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin at hewlett packard?
Workin at a desk with a dumb little placard?
Yeah, payin the bills with my mad programming skills
Defraggin my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of ram
I never feed trolls and I dont read spam
Installed a t1 line in my house
Always at my pc, double-clickin on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day

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HARDWARE STORE

Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, "Hey! You know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"
Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

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COUCH POTATO

Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it
Or just let it slip?
Yo
Remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstone's on the TV already
Wilma N' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin
And I'm HD ready
So I flip, garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth, always says something foul

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ANGRY WHITE BOY POLKA

[LAST RESORT (Papa Roach)]
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort, suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a... if I cut my arm bleeding
This is my last resort
'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and a-crying
[CHOP SUEY! (System Of A Down)]
Wake up! (Wake up)
Grab a brush and put a little make-up
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
(Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup)
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable
You wanted to
Grab a brush and put a little makeup

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GENIUS IN FRANCE

I'm not the brightest crayon in the box
Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks
I barely even know how to put on my own pants
But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France
Hoom chaka laka hoom chaka laka hoom chaka
I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese
I got a negative number on my SATS
I'm not good looking, and I don't know how to dance
But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely considered to be a
Genius in France, genius in France, genius in France
People say I'm a geek, a moronic little freak
An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique
If I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a week
But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek
They dig my mystique, they think I'm c'est magnifique
When I'm in Par-ee, I'm the chic-est of the chic
They love my body odor and my bad toupee
They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret
And when I'm sipping on a Perrier
In some caf down in St. Tropez

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