Phony Calls
Mom and dad are goin out for the evening
And youre stuck inside the house all alone
Thats when you decided it might be fun to harass someone
Dial a random number up on your telephone
You ask if their refrigerator is running
Then you tell em they should go out and catch it
Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin em from
Theyd come and bust your head right in with a ratchet
Listen to me
Dont go makin phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers youre used to
I know that you think its funny drivin folks up the wall
But its really gettin old fast
Little melvin has a natural obsession
Askin for prince albert in a can
He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call
To some guy he doesnt know who lives in japan
Hes callin strangers up at three in the morning
Gives em pizza pie delivery at four
He wont be laughin when theyre tracin his line
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song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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Bohemian Polka
Is this the real life
Is this just fantasy
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
Im just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
cause Im easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesnt really matter to me
To me
Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now hes dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now Ive gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didnt mean to make you cry
If Im not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
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song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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Happy Birthday
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Well, its time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
Well eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that theres something you can eat
A million npeople every day are starving in the street
Your daddys in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mamas in the kitchen with a can of cycle four
Theres garbage in the water
Theres poison in the sky
I guess it wont be long before were all gonna die
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Well, whats the matter little friend, you think this party is the pits
Enjoy it while you can, well soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the pentagon are gonna cook our goose
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song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?
I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report
About some devastating earthquake in Peru
There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive
On the Richter scale it measured 8.2
And I said, "God, please answer me one question...
Why'd they have to interrupt The Simpsons just for this?"
What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything
And now I'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show I missed
Why does this always happen...
Why does this always happen to me?
Why does this always happen...
Why does this always happen to me?
I was driving down the highway when all the traffic slowed to a crawl
There was a 12-car pile-up, everybody dead
And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere
As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head
And I thought - Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him
Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money . what a jerk
Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again
Plus now, on top of everything else, it looks like I'm gonna be late to work
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song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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ODE TO A SUPERHERO
Parody of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel
Poor Peter Parker was pitiful
Couldn't have been any shyer
Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him
Even if his hair was on fire
But then one day he went to that science lab
That mutated spider came down
Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls
And he's swingin' all over town
La li la, li de da
La la, li le la da dom
Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause we're all in the mood for a hero now
And there's evil-doers to fight
Now Harry the rich kid's a friend of his
Who horns in on Mary Jane
But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys
Who can kiss upside-down in the rain
"With great power comes great responsibility"
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song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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You Make Me
You make me wanna slam my head against the wall
You make me do the limbo
You make me wanna buy a slurpee at the mall
You make me watch the gong show
Theres really something kinda strange about you, baby, but I cant exactly seem to put my finger on it
You make me
You make me
You make me
Thats what you do to me
You make me wanna hide a weasel in my shorts
You make me wanna phone home
You make me wanna write a dozen book reports
Then pack myself in styrofoam
Sometimes you make me want to build a model of the eiffel tower out of belgian waffles
You make me
You make me
You make me
Thats what you do to me
(you make me) thats what you do
(you make me) thats what you do
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song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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Hit Me With A Rock
When I was a little boy
(when I was just a boy)
And my mother would call my name
(when I was just a boy)
Shed say I had to be in the house by seven
(when I was just a boy)
But Id stay out late at night
(when I was just a boy)
And when Id finally get back in
Oh, I know shed hit me, shed hit me
Shed sit me on her knees and whip me
Oh, shed hit me with a rock
Shed whip me with a rock, oh baby
Shed hit me (hit me with a rock)
Shed hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me
(hit me with a rock)
And when I was grown to be a man
(grown to be a man)
The minute the boss would call my name
(grown to be a man)
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song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Plumbing Song
(announcer: who fixes plumbing problems in a flash? twenty four hours a day? seven days a week? )
Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand
But plumbings one thing I dont understand
Its true (havent got a clue)
B-b-b-baby, I can tell youve got a big problem
When I flush the john, then your shower goes on
(baby) now watcha gonna do?
If dranos a joke and your plunger is broke
Baby, call the mensch with a monkey wrench
(baby) hell be there for you
Showers backing up (up, up)?
Water wont go down (down, down)?
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Dont forget my plumber
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Sinks been stopped up all summer
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Better call the plumber
Hell know what to do
Pipes been blowing up
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song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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Polka Your Eyes Out
Rock the cradle of love. rock the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Dont rock easy, its true
Rock the cradle of love
I rocked the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Dont rock easy, its true
Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo
(doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo)
The love shack is a little old place where
We can get together
Love shack, baby
(love shack, baby, love shack)
Hey!
Pump up the jam (hey!). pump up the jam (hey!)
Pump up the jam, pump it up!
Thats me in the corner
Thats me in the spotlight, losing my religion
Trying to keep a view
And I dont know if I can to it
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song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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Ill Be Mellow When Im Dead
I dont care about your karma
I dont care about whats hip
No space cadets gonna tell me what to do
I wont swim in your jacuzzi
You cant make me settle down
Id rather kick and jump and bite and scratch
And scream until Im blue
I may as well be hyper as long as Im still around
cause Ill have lots of time to be laid back
When Im six feet underground.
(chorus)
Ill be mellow when Im dead (Ill be mellow when Im dead)
Ill be mellow when Im dead (Ill be mellow when Im dead)
Ill be mellow when Im dead (Ill be mellow when Im dead)
When are you cosmic cowboys gonna get it through your heads
Ill be mellow when Im dead
Ill be mellow when Im dead
Ill be mellow when Im dead
I cant stand the smell of incense
I dont really like to jog
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song performed by Weird Al Yankovic
Added by Lucian Velea
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