Fireball Xl5
Ive saved a little bit of money from christmas gone,
What with my birthday nearly due,
Im dressing up as guy in the shopping arcade,
Have you a penny for a boy named blue ?
Ive seen it advertised on tv shows,
Flashed up on the evening news,
My local m.p. said I should grin and bear it,
But Id rather go and blow her fuse,
Right on, right off!
Right off, right on.
Right on, right off!
Right off, right on.
Let me tell you a little tale of naughtys,
On the estate I used to loathe,
I aimed 30 rockets at a shilling each,
You should have seen their front doors go,
Right on, right off!
Right off, right on.
Right on, right off!
Right off, right on.
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song performed by Madness
Added by Lucian Velea
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Never Ask Twice Aka Airplane
Please observe my continental alligator skin line shoulder bag
Ive covered it in stickers from far and wide
And stuffed it full of suits and matching ties
Ive travelled on the seas and Ive travelled on the land
And theres not a single person I cant understand
Ive forgotten the languages and wave my cash
Ive enjoyed every minute of it with a splash
I wear a panama on my brilcremed hair
I think I carry it with a certain flair
When travelling abroad I know the score
With the voice of authority from the first a-world war
I went all through to congo on a magic pleasure knock
Staving off disease with hallucinogenic drugs
With a mind-bending root from a local native source
Made my mind and my body have a premature divorce
I felt like I was sliding from a massive height
It seemed like it was morning in the middle of the night
My eyes were open, though theres nothing much to see
A swirling mist of images
The seas are my friend and the skies my home
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song performed by Madness
Added by Lucian Velea
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In The Middle Of The Night
Nice man george, newsagent on the corner,
Not very rich, but never any poorer,
Jaunty old george, a happy sixty-three,
Not very tall, but healthier than me.
He whistles timeless tunes as he saunters down the street,
Springs in his legs and elastic in his feet.
But in the middle of the night,
He steals through your garden,
Gives your hosiery a fright,
And doesnt say pardon.
As soft as a breeze,
With an arm full of underwear,
On his hands and knees,
Dreams about the knicker scare.
Hello there george, newsagent on the corner,
Hows the old car, yes the climates getting warmer,
Chatty old george as you get your morning paper,
Read about the knicker thief, underwear taker.
Bids you good day, as you wander out the door,
Never closes early, always cleans the floor.
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song performed by Madness
Added by Lucian Velea
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Ernie
I am the bringer of your wishes,
Your saviour from doing work,
The washer of your dishes,and
Youll still get you mid-day perk.
Estate agent,
Your mansion and pot of gold,
All the home comforts,
Before youre getting tired and old.
One more try,
Try to get what youve never had,
Five more bob,
For the whole world that cant be bad.
We cant all win,
Look its happening,
The futures looking not so bleak,
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
So when you hear me coming,
Along halls and up the stairs,
Get the black teapot,
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song performed by Madness
Added by Lucian Velea
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Decieves The Eye
In the earliest days of my shoplifting career,
You could safely say I was filled with fear.
It was nail biting work from the very start,
But several quick sucesses soon gave me heart.
After a while I could pick or nick or steal,
Some shirts some trousers and a few lps.
No-one ever stopped me, they didnt seem to care.
It sometimes seemed to me that there was no-one there.
Then a fine summers day my mates and me,
Set off down the westend on our usual spree.
Things were as normal for an hour or so,
Then my nimble hands were a bit too slow.
Two store detectives made a fast approach,
One grabbed my jacket (youre nicked!)
The other grabbed my throat.
So they caught me at last, one said with joy:
Youll have to do some time, my light fingered boy!
If only Id remembered my common sense,
They captured me red-handed with evidence.
If I go to the manager and say Im sorry,
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song performed by Madness
Added by Lucian Velea
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Victoria Gardens
Youre looking and listening and hoping
That things are changing for the better
Youre trying to see if what youre teaching is the truth sir
Youre looking and listening and hoping
That things will change for better
Dont want to preach or teach the blues to you now brother
I just left victoria gardens
And walked through cardboard city land
A burnt out star was asking
How would I like to shake his hand
I walked on in no hurry (hurry hurry hurry)
And wondered where did we go wrong?
Were looking and listening and hoping
That things are changing for the better
Dont want to preach or teach the blues to you now brother
I walked on in no hurry (hurry hurry hurry)
And wondered where did we go wrong?
Looking listening hoping that things are changing for the better
(only time can tell)
Its a bloody fine situation
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song performed by Madness
Added by Lucian Velea
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Baggy Trousers
Naughty boys in nasty schools
Headmasters breaking all the rules
Having fun and playing fools
Smashing up the woodwork tools
All the teachers in the pub
Passing round the ready-rub
Trying not to think of when
The lunch-time bell will ring again.
Oh what fun we had
But, did it really turn out bad
All I learnt at school
Was how to bend not break the rules
Oh what fun we had
But at the time it seemed so bad
Trying different ways
To make a difference to the days.
Headmasters had enough to-day
All the kids have gone away
Gone to fight with next-doors school
Every term, that is the rule
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song performed by Madness
Added by Lucian Velea
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Going To The Top
Oh, when you're going to the top
And you have no time to stop
Then you have to travel light
Yes, you'd better go by night
Cos it's not a pretty sight
When youre going to the top
And you're never going to stop
You won't let nobody block
Your way to the top
And no bodies then may fall
Old friends up against the wall
Can't let feelings in the way
As if you had some anyway
Some will have to move aside
True intents you'll always hide
Wagging tongues may call you snide
You may not know who's on your side
When you're going to the top
When you're going to the top
La-la-la-la
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song performed by Madness
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Land Of Hope & Glory
Uuhhhhhhhh whats the time
Attention!
Raaaahhh....
Bridges,
Sharkey,
Nutlee,
Jackson,
Thompson (mother!)
Well as you can see weve got a new recruit to this land of hope and glory,
Hands behind backs and legs apart and tell us all your unfortunate story...
Who me guv
Yes you sahhh
I was an innocent man till someone grassed me up a plan for earning a some big money
If I hadnt mouthed it about I am sure without doubt I d have missed this land of hope and glory
Well you poor poor sod,
Here youre up at sharp at 6:30
A cold shower, down to breakfast,
Cant have you looking dirty,
I suggest you eat whats given you,
Even if it doesnt agree with you.
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song performed by Madness
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Johnny The Horse
Johnny the horse was kicked to death
He died for entertainment
Would you believe he came out well
He had a bright inquiring mind
His family knew that he'd go far
If he applied his time
But he started out standing on corners
And talking out loud, too loud
You see he couldn't believe in himself or the world
Or anything he heard
It seems a million years ago
That he left his life behind
The moment came for him to go
He said goodbye to his wife and child
Started out walking he never looked back
There was too much pain
Between Glasgow and London
One hot summer he forgot his name
Can you remember his name?
Doodlo dup dup dup
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song performed by Madness
Added by Lucian Velea
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