Schwinn Twenty-four
(kinky friedman, shawn siegal)
Yeah! yeah! yeah!
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Me and my fellows gonna take a hike
I climbed on in my brand new bike
Its a twenty-four inch with a groovy red seat
All of the fellows think its really neat
As I pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal
Pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal up, pedal down
Pedal all around town on my schwinn twenty-four
Schwinn twenty-four
Bam bam bam bam
Schwinn twenty-four.
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
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song performed by Kinky Friedman
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Ballad Of Ira Hayes
(peter lafarge)
Gather round me people and a story I will tell
bout a brave young indian lad, you should remember well,
From a tribe of pima indians, a proud and peaceful band
Who farmed the phoenix valley out in arizona land.
Down their ditches for a thousand years the sparkling water rushed
Till the white man stole the water rights and the running water hushed.
Iras folks was hungry, their fields grew thick with weeds,
But when war came ira volunteered and forgot the white mans greed.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Well, they battled up iwo jima hill, two hundred and fifty men
But only twenty-seven lived to walk back down again.
And after the fight was over and old glory proudly raised,
Among the men who held her high was an indian, ira hayes.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Well, ira hayes returned a hero, celebrated throughout the land,
He was wined and speeched and honored, everybody shook his hand.
But hes just a pima indian, no food, no friend, no chance,
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song performed by Kinky Friedman
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The Ballad Of Charles Whitman
(kinky friedman)
He was sitting up there for more than an hour,
Way up there on the texas tower
Shooting from the twenty-seventh floor. yahoo!
He didnt choke or slash or slit them,
Not our charles joseph whitman,
He wont be an architect no more.
Got up that morning calm and cool,
He picked up his guns and walked to school.
All the while he smiled so sweetly
And it blew their minds completely,
Theyd never seen an eagle scout so cruel.
Now wont you think for the shame and degradation
For the schools administration
He put on such a bold and brassy show.
The chance looked right, its adolescent
And of course its most unpleasant
But I got to admit it was a lovely way to go.
There was a rumor about a tumor
Nestled at the base of his brain.
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song performed by Kinky Friedman
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Ahab The Arab
(ray stevens)
Let me tell you bout ahab the arab, the sheik of the burning sand,
He had emeralds and rubies just a-dripping off a him and a ring on every finger of his hand.
He wore a big old turban wrapped around his head, a scimitar by his side
And every evening about midnight hed jump on his camel named clyde.
And ride silently through the night to the sultans tent
Where he would secretly meet up with fatima of the seven veils.
She was the swinginest number one dancer in the sultans whole harem.
It was like him and her they had a little adam going, you see,
Behind the old buggers back.
And you could hear him talking to his camel
And as he rode out across the dunes past the oil wells
His voice would cut through the still night desert air
And hed say, maaaaaaa oyy oyy oyy !!!
Which is arabic for oh, baby ...
And clyde would say, yewrah raaaoww uh uh uh uh uh!
Well, he brought his camel to a screeching halt at the rear of fatimas tent,
Jumped off clyde, snuck around the corner and into the tent he went.
There he saw fatima laying on a, on a zebra skin rug,
With rings on her fingers, bells on her toes and a bone in her nose, eeeeyye.
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song performed by Kinky Friedman
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We Reserve The Right To Refuse Service To You
(kinky friedman, rick goldberg, j. maizel)
While traveling through the lone star state
I lost my lunch before I ate,
It happened in a pull-ahead caf. yahoo!
I felt my bones begin to crunch
I saw my name on the businessmans lunch
And the neck who owned the place stepped up to say:
hey buddy, are you blind,
Say, partner, cant you read the sign ?
We reserve the right to refuse service to you,
Take your business back to walgreens,
Have you tried your local zoo ?
You smell just like a communist,
You come on through just like a jew,
We reserve the right to refuse service to you.
Well, I walked on in to my house of god
Congregation on the nod,
Just chosen folks are doing their weekly thing.
Hear, o israel, yes indeed,
My book was backwards, couldnt read,
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song performed by Kinky Friedman
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They Aint Makin Jews Like Jesus Anymore
(kinky friedman)
Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin lone star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
they oughta send you back to russia, boy, or new york city one
You just want to doodle a christian girl and you killed gods only son.
I said, has it occurred to you, you nerd, that thats not very nice,
We jews believe it was santa claus that killed jesus christ.
you know, you dont look jewish, he said, near as I could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger.
No, they aint makin jews like jesus anymore,
They dont turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutin and a-spittin on the floor,
lord, they aint makin jews like jesus anymore.
He says, i aint a racist but aristitle onassis is one greek we dont need
And them niggers, jews and sigma nus, all they ever do is breed.
And wops n micks n slopes n spics n spooks are on my list
And theres one little hebe from the heart of texas is there anyone I missed ?
Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes.
I says, Im gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin that pack of lies.
If theres one thing I cant abide, its an ethnocentric racist;
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song performed by Kinky Friedman
Added by Lucian Velea
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