Hands Clean
If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much
Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime
We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this
You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protege and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it
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song performed by Alanis Morissette from Under Rug Swept
Added by Lucian Velea
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Sorry To Myself
For hearing all my doubts so selectively and
For continuing my numbing love endlessly.
For helping you and myself: not even considering
For beating myself up and overfunctioning.
To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No ones been crueler than Ive been to me.
For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable
For myself love being so embarassingly conditional.
And for denying myself to somehow make us compatible
And for trying to fit a rectangle into a ball.
And
To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No ones been crueler than Ive been to me.
Im sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else.
Im sorry to myself.
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.
For blaming myself for your unhappiness
And for my impatience when I was perfect where I was.
Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready,
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song performed by Alanis Morissette
Added by Lucian Velea
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Eight Easy Steps
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solve-able predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you
How to keep people at arm's length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone
I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best
How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you're really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you're a pray-er and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success
I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in eight easy steps
I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best
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song performed by Alanis Morissette
Added by Lucian Velea
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Unsent
Dear Mathew I like you a lot
I realize you're in a relationship
with someone right now and I respect that
I would like you to know
that if you're ever single in the future
and you want to come visit me in california
I would be open to spending time with you
and finding out how old you were
when you wrote your first song
Dear Jonathan I liked you too much
I used to be attracted to boys
who would like to me
and think solely about themselves
and you were plenty self-destructive
for my taste at the time
I used to say the more tragic the better
the truth is whenever I think of the early 90's
your face comes up with a vengenance
like it was yesterday
[...] Read more
song performed by Alanis Morissette from Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
Added by Lucian Velea
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Out Is Through
Every time you raise your voice
I see the greener grass
Every time you run for cover
I see this pasture
Every time we're in a funk
I picture a different choice
Every time we're in a rut
This distant grandeur
My tendency to want to do away feels natural
My urgency to dream of softer places feels understandable and I know
The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through ultimately
The only way out is through
The only way we'll feel better
The only way out is through ultimately
Every time I'm confused
I think there must be easier ways
Every time our horns are locked on toweling throwing
Every time we're at a loss, we've bolted from difficulty
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song performed by Alanis Morissette
Added by Lucian Velea
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Unprodigal Daughter
I had disengaged to avoid being totaled
I would run away and say good riddance, soon enough
I had grown disgusted by your small-minded ceiling
Imagine myself bolting had not been difficult
Soon be my life
Soon be my pace
Soon be my choice of which youll have no part of
Unprodigal daughter and Im heading for the west
Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough
Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last
Id invite you but Im busy being unoppressed
I hit the ground running, although I know not what toward
I hit the town feeling, forgetting all that came before
I felt primed and ready, once surrounded by the pawns
I felt culture shocked, but dissuaded, I was not
This is my town
This is my voice
This is my taste of which youve have no part of
Unprodigal daughter and Im heading for the west
Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough
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song performed by Alanis Morissette
Added by Lucian Velea
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I Was Hoping
as we were taking outside it was cold we were shivering yet warmed by the subject matter
my wife is in the next room we've been having troubles you know please don't tell her or anyone
but I need to talk to somebody
you said "wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was five minutes before I died i'd be filled
with such regret before I took my last breath" and I said "you're willing to tell me this now
and you're not going to die any time soon"
and I said I haven't been eating chicken or meat or anything and you said yes
but you've been wearing leather and laughed and said we're at the top of the food chain
and yes you're a fine woman and I cringed
I was hoping I was hoping we could heal each other
I was hoping I was hoping we could be raw together
we left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60's) said "good-bye sir thank you for your business sir you're
successful and established sir and we like the frequency with which you dine here sir
and your money" and when I walked by they said "thank you too dear" I was all pigtails and cords
and there was a day when I would've said something like "hey dude I could buy and sell this place so kiss it"
I too once thought I was owed something
I was hoping I was hoping we could challenge each other
I was hoping I was hoping we could crack each other up
I too thought that when proved wrong I lost somehow
I too once thought life was cruel
[...] Read more
song performed by Alanis Morissette from Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
Added by Lucian Velea
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Front Row
do you go to the dungeon to find out how to make peace with your days in the dungeon writing a letter
to you didn't make me feel any more peaceful then how I felt when we weren't speaking because I
didn't cop to what I did. I can't love you because we're supposed to have professional boundaries. i'd
like you to be schooled and in awe as though you were kissed by god full on the lips . i'm in the front
row the front row with popcorn I get to see you see you close up i'm too tired to recount the
unpleasantries one by one one minute I want to banish you the next I want to be on
a deserted island with you along with my three favorite cd's ambivalent yet in your
bed we've yet to acknowledge what really happened
slid into the ditch I have this overwhelming loss of ambition we said let's name thirty good reasons why
we shouldn't be together I started by saying things like "you smoke" "you live in new jersey (too far)"
you started saying things like "you belong to the world" all of which could have been easily
refuted but the conversation was hypothetical I am totally short of breath for you why can't you shut
your stuff off..... i'm in the front row the front row with popcorn I get to see you see you close up
and I laughed until my lungs hurt I love how you bust my chops you don't always
feel seen sometimes you feel erasable unfortunately I cannot reciprocate in my
current state I think we should be careful of how much time we spend together
........for a while i'm speaking you know how much you hate to be interrupted maybe spend some
time alone to fill up your proverbial cup so that it doesn't always have to be about you i've been wanting
your undivided attention I like the fact that you're nothing like me are you not burdened by the lack of
perspective people have of your charmed life i'm in the front row the front row with
[...] Read more
song performed by Alanis Morissette from Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
Added by Lucian Velea
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